I'm NOT a servant!!!

Have you ever heard "Men work outside, Women stay at home and do ALL household chores, including taking care of their kinds"?

Not all Japanese men think like that, of course, particularly young generation today. However, it's true some men take it for granted even though they understand they should share household chores, take care of their kids and help each other as much as possible.

My hubby may be one of them, if anything. I'm totally against the thought, so I categorically told him we should share and help each other when we got married. We've tried to do that as much as possible since then. After I started to work, he's tried to help me more. Having said that, he's liable to leave all things up to me....

As such I occasionally discharge my pent-up emotions upon him, saying that "I'm NOT a servant! Who decided to do that? You SHOULD think women and men are equal! Male chauvinism is for the birds!!!"

Well, I completely let off steam. あ~、すっきりした!lol

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Thank you for your comments.^^

>"shoulda, woulda, coulda," yeah, I've heard of this phrase somewhere! But...I don't know what it does mean... How do you translate it into Japanese?

I learned the phrase in an English program called ビジ英.
shoulda=should have, coulda=could have, woulda=would have
“~すべきだったのに、~出来たのに、~だったろうに” 
I know, of course, you won't say that, though. I meant "No ifs, ands, buts" when we, women and men, choose our lives in this case.

>"You must be busy after work" and does everything from cooking to washing! "I'm a man,and stronger than you."

Wow! sound nice! He must be kind and good at showing consideration for his wife and others. ^^



Hi, I'm in my car now, waiting for my son.
Our chat reminded me of a friend of mine! She got married to a seven-year-younger man, and he is gorgeous! He says to her, "You must be busy after work" and does everything from cooking to washing! "I'm a man,and stronger than you."

…I wish I could have a man like him!

Hello again! I have no plan all afternoon, so I watched TV dramas for hours and wrote their Korean lines down on my notebook. ^^;
"shoulda, woulda, coulda," yeah, I've heard of this phrase somewhere! But...I don't know what it does mean... How do you translate it into Japanese? Tell me, just curious.
As I had thought, you were pretty busy all day today! Take care of yourself! Having a career is fantastic, and I'm really glad you definitely made your dream come true!
Ah, my son has just come back! I need to drive him to his baseball practice. See you soon!!!

>Wow! Quick response! ^^
You,too! Actually, I don't stay at home today....I posted my comment just before doing chores of my work. I've just went back home and checked my e-mail and blog. You can easily imagine, I'll head for my class after this check.

>I'm not going to stay at home for the rest of my life.
Of course I hope you'll dive in if you want because of your life. Either stepping forward or staying , you can choose your life. I'm afraid I'm saying at the risk of being presumptuous, though...
Once you choose either way, never say "shoulda, woulda, coulda" even though one of your challengings is your hubby.
Don't get me wrong. I mean it might not be the time if you're not ready to go for it.

Wow! Quick response! ^^
Are you at home today? So am I. If I knew this, we could've had another chat over the phone. ^^;

Well, sometimes I make fun of my husband, saying "You're acting like a bird in a cage. Until being fed by someone, you cannot even eat and drink". I cannot help this, though. Because he seems to feel happy to be taken care of. Childish, isn't it? I think so, too^^;

I'm not going to stay at home for the rest of my life. I want to pirchase what I want, such as cosmetics, clothes and shoes. You know, I cannot recall the last time when I bought my clothes! It was...maybe...three years ago? The last time I went to have my hair cut was about 10 months ago. Goodness. Once I land a job, I know I need to look nice. ^^ I cannot go out in looks-familiar shabby clothes all the time, can I?
In a situation you're in at the moment, of course, I think your husband needs to be a help for you. I used to say "Men must have more strength than women!" to my husband. Men have to understand that women also need to a comfortable place and time.

Hi, friend. What's going on? I'm sure you've been fit as a fiddle. hehe

Yeah, I know you hubby's type. ^^ In fact, my hubby used to be when we met, but I directly told him the above and that I wouldn't get married like that man. lol Fortunately, he understood what I meant and has tried to share and we've helped each other.

I know there's no answer what family type is correct because there're various life styles. As such your current life makes you and your family happy, it definitely suits you and it's correct.
I can relate to you that you're often wavering to land a job, but if you can't find enough passion or reasons that you start to work at all costs, you might as well not do that. As you already know, we can say "No pain, no gain"

What I'd like to point out in this case is that men shouldn't take it for granted that women do everything, and vice versa, of course.

Haha! Sounds like my husband. Were you talking about him, were't you? ^^
As you probably know, I used to have trouble dealing with this problem. I have to say that my husband doesn't follow the idea of "While men work outside, women should put thieir family first." He's just kept saying that both of us don't have to be someone bringing home the bacon. It'd be more ideal if men and women play each role. If everybody goes outside, who takes a responsibility at home? If we can manage somewhat, it'd be better to have someone at home for the sake of little children. Yes, that's my husband's ideal.
My husband, like my father, wants to feel relaxed at home after work.
When I was a working mom, I earned money as much as he did. We lived comfortably, but we faced a mental crisis. I can confess now that we were on the edge of getting divorce. I didn't manage to stand with his stubborness and I was worn out between household chores and work.
That was a reason I quit my job. After that, we have no longer talked about divorce.
Some people say that I should be outside to make money. The idea is appealing, but when I think about the harsh period we got through, I'm still wavering to get a full time job deep down.
Luckily, my husband regards stay-at-home mothers as important. He always says to me, "No need to get yourself down with someone's prejudice. Our kids and I just need you at home, and we're all happy with it." ^^

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Author: VibrantRose TOEIC 925 (2017.4)

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