The 7th essay

I'd like to try to write an essay this time. I picked the following topic from the STEP test.

"Will societies with aging populations face a crisis in the future?"

It is said that not only Japan, but other countries also face an aging society and decreasing birthrate. We may be concerned the society could face a crisis in the future. Is it true? I'd like to discuss it.
Indeed, societies with an aging population will face several serious problems. One of them is health care. We need to find more care-givers and reconstruct the system to provide enough service. Some may regard it as our burden. The reason is that it'll lead to other problems such as finance for managing.
However, we shouldn't take a pessimistic view of the society. Let's take senior citizens. Even retired people, they're cheerful and want to work or contribute to our communities. In fact, many senior citizens have registered themselves as volunteers and take part in many events for creating a good society. These activities may give chances to start a new business or stimulate the economy.
We should rethink the role of senior citizens and cooperate to resurrect our societies depressed by economic recession. It isn't a crisis. We have only to be flexible and take a wide view.



Hi, Dan
Thank you for your advice. As I'm learning how to write and the structure (because it's difference from Japanese one.), I appreciate your advice. Thanks! ;D



Just a quick note about your well written essay. Consider answering the topic question in the introduction. The reader doesn't really learn your opinion till the end.

English discourse typically presents a thesis and then supports it.


Hi, yuko

Thank you for your compliment! I'm so glad to read your comment. ;D
Although I want to take the grade, I know my level isn't enough to pass it. That's the reason I keep practicing writing an essay, reading articles and learning vocabularies. ^^;
When I try to take it someday, please give me your advice!

Hi Rosily

Good essay! I take it granted that you will pass the first grade soon.
About a year ago, my Eiken life was over. I still remember shedding tears after I confirmed the letters “PASSED” on their Internet web site.
I just wanted to pass it at that time, because there was a big mountain called “Eiken” right ahead of me.” Very simple reason.


Hi, Michael

Really!? You think so!? Yeah!!!!!Thank you! I'm so glad to hear that. XD
Thanks to your compliment, I was encouraged to keep learning English. ;D

Rosily, your writing is getting better all the time. Great job on your essay!

応援クリックお願いします(^^) 励みになります♪       


Author: VibrantRose TOEIC 935 (2018.4) TESOL認定講師